emotional vampires, life hacks, sound advice

Identify the Emotional Vampires in your Life

When you hear the word “vampire” the images that may come to mind is Barnabas Collins from “Dark Shadows”

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or Edward Cullen from “Twilight”.

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But I have come to inform you that vampires are quite real, maybe not in the sense of these characters, but when it comes to certain individuals we have in our lives, they could very well be Emotional Vampires and if they are, you need to run the other way, fast!

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Now in order to run from the Emotional Vampires, you will need to be able to recognize them. So I will list six ways to identify these horrible creatures.

  1. Emotionally Draining – The first thing you will noticed about this type of individual is how emotionally and physically drained you feel after being in their company. I am not talking about the occasional time when a particular family member or friend share their issues with you and you feel slightly tired after listening to them. I am talking about the individual who does it the emotional vampire way. Instead of sharing a small problem, they bombard you a plethora of  them while sucking you dry of advice and emotional responses ALL THE TIME, barely stopping to allow you a word in edge-wise. You may ask, “What is wrong with doing this? Plenty of people do this, even I do this!”  But that is not what I am referring to. I am talking about feeling like your head is literally spinning after you finish a conversation with them. #abnormalfeeling

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2. Negativity Overload – After the conversation is long over with the emotional vampire in your life, you still experience this nagging negativity hangover. It is like taking a Benadryl too late before bed and waking up feeling the groggy brain-fog, after-affect.

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You probably did not realize until now, but that cloud of negativity was not coming from you; it actually came from the words of that emotional vampire you have been surrounding yourself with.

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3. You feel better when they are not around – Picture yourself listening to the individual; while listening to them you feel bad, after listening to them you still feel gloomy. It isn’t until you have gone a few days, weeks or months, without talking/listening to this individual that you start to feel somewhat normal again. This is because while conversing with them, they not only unload a lot of negativity on you; they also tend to not actively listen to anything you have to say, hardly ever. So going on a detox from this individual may show you just how good life could be without them. So go ahead and press the “Reset” button, for lighter and happier times ahead. #letitgo

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4. Simplicity goes out the Window – Another sign of an emotional vampire is when having, what you believe to be, a simple conversation with them, ends up leaving you in a ball of confusion.

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What starts out as a simple statement, ends with the emotional vampire taking things completely out of context; leaving you disoriented and wondering what in the sam hill went wrong. Communication gaps happen, yes, but in the case of the emotional vampire, they are inevitable because the vampire is usually busy being negative, playing mind games, refusing to give straight answers or being overly defensive of their “uncalled for” behavior. This is definitely a trait that you should be on the look out for because simplicity is certainly a thing of the past with them. #byebyesimplicity

5. They make you feel deflated – These emotional vampires tend to deflate everyone around them. They cannot stand to see anyone thriving in anything because they are debbie-downers, and want to make others feel that way too. #downerslovecompany

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A true friend would like for you to be happy and celebrate with you when things are good, and comfort you when things are bad. An emotional vampire does the complete opposite covertly, they do not bring comfort; nor do they celebrate you. They only do it if it serves themselves in some form or fashion. Most of the time they appear to only “tolerate” you being in their lives. They are really not into you or what you have going on but keep you around for their own purposes. So ask yourself again, why do you entertain such a person? Inquiring minds would like to know.

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6. You have a sneaky suspicion the friendship isn’t quite real – With emotional vampires, they only put up with you because a) they need a sounding-board b) they need someone to put down so that they can feel better about themselves c) they need emotional responses to what they are saying [in these cases they will have multiple people they run to for this because your response alone will not be enough] d) they need your energy to empower themselves.

Notice how all of these reasons are about them and not the friendship? This is normally the case with these creatures, I mean, emotional vampires. Once they get the energy and attention they crave, you will be out of sight and out of their narrow minds, until they need another energy fix again.

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What to do if you have been bitten by an emotional vampire:

  1. Establish the no contact rule, this is important because they are sly creatures and can usually lure you back into the friendship before you have time to think about it. Cutting ties will allow you to get back to emotional freedom sooner than later.
  2. Do not try to reason with emotional vampires, it will not work. You will just become tangled up again in their web of deceit.
  3. If you work with the person in a common organization, separate yourself and only deal with them professionally. Do not meet up for dinner, or talk on the phone. Keep everything strictly work related, and AT WORK ONLY.
  4. Develop a support system of people who care about you, and who are willing to talk and actively listen. This marks a healthy relationship.

Well Wishes!

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It is FREE on Kindle and only $2.99 on other tablets:

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story time

The Parable of the Tenants

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I was reading a parable called “The Parable of the Tenants” and it really stood out to me so you know I had to share.

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The parable spoke about a landlord that planted a vineyard, put a fence around it, dug a wine press in it and built a watchtower. After everything was put in place, the landlord decided to lease it out and move to another country.

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Time passed and when harvest time came, the landlord decided to send some of his servants to the tenant, to get some of the fruits he had planted. When the servants arrived, the tenants beat one, killed another and stoned the other.

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The landlord heard of it and decided to send even more servants, in hopes that they would be received but the tenants responded in the same way as before.

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The landlord could not believe it so he decided the best thing to do would be to send his own son to collect his produce/fruit. He sent his son, and when the tenants saw him, they said among themselves, “This is the heir; come, let us kill him, and seize on his inheritance.” So they caught him, and cast him out of the vineyard and killed him.

1, The vines

The parable ended with a question by the person telling the parable. The question was, “When the landlord comes back to his vineyard, what do you think he will do to the tenants?”

The people listening to the parable answered that the landlord would surely destroy the wicked tenants, and get new tenants to occupy the land. Tenants that would give the fruits to the landlord during their rightful seasons.

The creator of this parable, asked the people listening another question, a question tying the parable with what was happening at that present time. He asked, “Haven’t you read in the scriptures, the stone (referring to Jesus) which the builders rejected is the same stone, that will become the Head of the corner. And the kingdom of God shall be taken from you (pharisees and other who rejected the deity of Jesus), and given to a nation bringing forth the fruits thereof.

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This passage speaks volumes to me and is thought provoking —–> Whoever will fall on the stone shall be broken but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder (Matthew 21: 44)

I like how it said whoever falls on Jesus (the stone) will be broken. Being broken is a good thing because it provides the opportunity for things to be broken off of us that is no longer needed. We should take comfort that brokenness doesn’t last forever, eventually we mend, heal, and become new again. Another thing that is good about being broken is how humbling it is. Once we experience brokenness, it usually gives us an empathy toward others that make us more sensitive and caring human beings.

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The other part of the passage was sobering, it said that whoever the stone falls on, will be ground to powder. Yikes. That is not something I would like to experience. So I will take brokenness over being ground to powder any day, thank you very much.

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I thought it was so interesting how the parable was used to explain to the pharisees in story form, how their disbelief appeared before the landlord (God) who allowed tenants (the pharisees) to managed his land and how the landlord (God) will deal with them (the pharisees and anyone who rejected) for killing/rejecting His son (Jesus).

So when you would like to get a point across to someone and you can’t quite explain it, give them a story/parable, to get your point across. It truly works!

#Shall-We-Bring-Back-Story-Time

 

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Let go of the "Past" Bomb

Letting go of the “Past” Bomb

I was reflecting on a book I read over 17 years ago about getting people, past events and regrets out and making room for the right things instead.

How often are people living a low quality of life because they choose to live in the past by allowing something or someone the permission to have a “seat” in their lives, who should have been asked to “please get up and leave,” a long time ago?

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The good news is, that there is a thing called choice, and we all have access to it.

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We can choose to continue providing a seat for past regrets, situations, humiliations, and toxic people; or we could choose to asked them to “please get up and leave,” so that we can make room for the present and the future. Think about the Charles Dickens’s Christmas Carol. Ebenezer Scrooge was allowed the luxury of learning exactly how his past would affect his present, and doom his future. What a wonderful opportunity it would be if we too, could have the same ability. Unfortunately, we will more than likely not get to but we are wise enough to know that if we hold on to, provide a seat for, wrong things; our present and future will be very bleak.

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Can you tell I have an infinity for Charles Dickens? lol I did get to meet his great, great grandson once at a Dickens’s Holiday event, it was lovely. 

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I want to preface this by saying I am not only referring to people. I am also referring to habits, occupations and organizations we belong to. Some of us are still working in positions that we should have left a long time ago, but because of job security, decided not to step out on faith.

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Some of us have habits that are unhealthy, unproductive and/or expensive, that we need to give up so that we can make room for something better. Some of us are apart of organizations (civic, volunteer, congregations, frat/soro, etc…) that have run their course in our lives, but because of a sense of cause, duty, or validation, continue on in them. This is not to say, do not belong to any organizations, it is to make sure you are apart of the right organization; one in which you are a proper fit.

We have to be willing to let go of the wrong placement, in order to make room for where we are supposed to be. Otherwise, you will look like the illustration below.

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From this day forth, view the bad parts of your past; and all that encompass as a ticking time bomb that will soon explode, and end up destroying your present and future. This may seem a bit melodramatic, but what else will it take to finally decide on letting go? Some of us are collectors of useless things, and eventually, if we continue to take care of those “useless unproductive things,” our energy, time and most importantly space will be unavailable when something better is introduced and what happens when you are looking for a seat, and all are taken? You keep moving. This is what good things that are supposed to be in our lives will do if we stay full of rubbish, it will keep moving.

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Reflection

Get a notebook, iPad, or Notepad on your phone. Write down these categories:

  1. People
  2. Organizations I belong to
  3. Habits
  4. Hobbies

Underneath each category, write down The Three P’s:

  1. Productive
  2. Positivity
  3. Passionate

At this point, I would personally choose to pray about this, but overall the objective is to evaluate the categories and see if the items in them should continue having a seat in your life. If you find you are no longer passionate, productive and it no longer brings positivity into your life; then I suggest asking it to “please get up and leave.”

After doing this exercise you will free up time, energy and space for something better to come into your life and you will appreciate it, when “something better” comes along.

You may actually be the person holding yourself up, you may be your worst enemy, so don’t be afraid to “Let go of the Past Bomb.”

past is bomb

Have a peep of my Schoolspiration book!

It is FREE on Kindle and only $2.99 on other tablets:

https://www.amazon.com/SchoolSpiration-Sprinkle-Wellness-Creating-Inspire-ebook/dp/B076DHB5HB

genuine people, inspirational

The 21-day Gen·u·ine Challenge

I would like to challenge everyone to the “21-day Genuine Challenge”. This challenge is for everyone, no matter their stage of life: retired, stay at home mum or dad, working not working, or students. Let me preface this by saying that we are human beings and make mistakes, so this challenge is not about being perfect but becoming better.

Ok class let’s begin with the definition of genuine. The definition below is from Dictionary.com.

gen·u·ine

ˈjenyo͞oən/

adjective

  1. truly what something is said to be; authentic.

“each book is bound in genuine leather”

Synonyms: authentic, real, actual, original, bona fide, true, veritable; sincere, honest, truthful, straightforward, direct, frank, candid, open; artless, natural, unaffected;

Informal synonyms: straight, upfront, on the level, on the up and up

  1. “a genuine person” (of a person, emotion, or action) sincere.

“she had no doubts as to whether Tom was genuine”

Now that we know the meaning behind the word genuine, we can discuss “The Why”.

Why should we strive to be genuine?

The reason I am challenging everyone to be genuine for 21-days is because I believe a major transformation will take place in their lives upon completion. Imagine an environment when people truly said what they meant and meant what they said, or a place where a person could walk away from a group feeling confident that nothing negative would be said shortly afterwards. Wouldn’t that be positively, lovely?

Change begins with us, hence the 21-day Genuine Challenge.

Below I am going to provide examples of 6 true genuine traits along with examples of the opposite of genuine traits (also known as being fake). This will serve as a resource during the challenge. I shall report my own findings in 21 days! (August 31st) #begenuine

Respect Everyone, whether it is Earned or not

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Showing respect to everyone is a sign of integrity. The Bible even mentions how pretentious it is to show favoritism to the wealthy by giving them the best seats in the synagogue while not paying any attention to the poor. (James 2:3) This applies even today, show everyone respect whether they deserve it or not, no matter their station in life and only good can come from it.

Practice Humility

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There is a time and place for everything.

To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under Heaven (here on Earth) Ecclesiastes 3:1

Do not misunderstand this example, it is ok to be loud and have fun at times, but it is not ok to always seek attention at the expense of taking away attention from others. We all can think of an example of this trait and during our challenge, lets strive to do the opposite.

Be Transparent and Tactfully Honest

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The definition of gossip. I have done this with prior students before because some of them admittedly never looked it up. So, it was high time. Gossip is discussing other peoples’ affairs and the affairs are not confirmed as true or false. It is for this reason one should speak to the source, not about the source to other people, when they are unsure about something. Be open and transparent, because a good person may be misjudged for life over unconfirmedinformation.

Real Life Example Alert – Once upon a time, I had people tell me a certain individual had been discussing me unfavorably. I was surprised because I barely knew the person, so clearly, they had been fed some untrue information about myself for them to be discussing me in such a fashion. I tried to ignore what had been said to me and continued being polite to the person as I had always done, but after being told by several more people the person was speaking about me negatively, I went and asked the person about it. It caught the person by complete surprise and they denied it. I asked them if I had done anything to offend them because if I had; I wanted to make it right, they replied that I had not done anything to them. After the brief exchange, I assured them there were not any hard feelings on my end and continued to treat them as I always had. Shortly afterwards, I overheard the person speaking negatively about me with my own ears and what others had been saying was confirmed. I still remained pleasant but guarded, it just goes to show that you cannot please everyone, and that people can and will speak badly without a cause.

Cannot Please Everyone but keep being Pleasant

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It is natural for us to want everyone to like us, but it is not realistic. It is a thin line between being niceand becoming a people pleaser. I am naturally a nice person but can usually discern fairly quickly if someone does-not-care for my person. In those cases, I am polite and professional but aim to keep things short and sweet because it is best to be celebrated instead of tolerated. #politeprofessionalshortsweet

Compliment Others

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Criticizing others to divert attention from your weaknesses is not a good trait. I am not talking about constructive criticism because I am a former dancer, cheerleader and show choir member, so I know the benefits of receiving criticism that drives improvement but criticizing without a purpose or just to make someone feel badly is wicked. So, during the challenge if this is a problem area, try hard to stop it! It will get easier with time.

Keep your word and when you cannot, Communicate

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Life happens, and sometimes we are not able to make it to an event we have committed too; in that case, a genuine person would simply communicate that. This image is stating is that a genuine person would try to live up to their promises, while a fake person would mindlessly promise commitment in order to appear “important” knowing they have zero intentions of following through.

I have given the tools needed to proceed on the challenge, now go forth and be GENUINE so that transformation could start taking place in your personal environment and eventually, around the world.

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Have a peep of My Schoolspiration Book!

It is FREE on Kindle and only $2.99 on other tablets:

https://www.amazon.com/SchoolSpiration-Sprinkle-Wellness-Creating-Inspire-ebook/dp/B076DHB5HB

Reference

Dictionary.com. 2018. Definition of Genuine. Retrieved from https://www.dictionary.com/browse/genuine

Parents, Discipline, Home, School

Discipline: Shouldn’t the Home and School Environment be Equal?

I was reading that a lot of virtual schools have been arriving on the scene lately and are geared towards students who cannot seem to function well in a structured classroom setting, or may have an attendance issue, and/or discipline problem. In these virtual schools, a teacher could have up to 400 students because statistically, all the students have not “shown up” for classes anyway; so it is believed the teacher should be able to handle his or her class-load. I know some colleagues who teach in virtual schools, and honestly most students are not learning but simply working on modules and getting a mark for completion. How can they truly learn in this setting when they are in a “virtual” classroom full of 400 students and one teacher? Not to mention the majority of virtual school have an F report card. Check out the following article when given a chance, but please continue reading. https://www.greatschools.org/gk/articles/virtual-schools/

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This type of school has a market because there are so many students no longer being able or willing to obey school rules. So after either being suspended, expelled or dropped for too many absences, their parents seek out a place their child can attend and this usually results in either alternative school or a virtual school.

This type of disruptive behavior has also been tied to the reason many of the public school teachers are no longer remaining in Education. One of the number one reasons teachers leave is because they do not receive adequate support from parents and/or administration when it comes to disciplining disruptive students. I personally have worked in schools that were super structured and implemented consistent discipline, and other schools, where the worst behaved students only got a slap on the wrist from administration and/or parents. So put yourself in the mindset of a school teacher; which should not be hard because most, if not all of us, have attended school before.

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A teacher has the responsibility to give, share, explain knowledge (also known as curriculum/subject matter) to students. It is also their responsibility to uphold a certain code of ethics, while also being available to answer any questions the students may have in order to increase understanding.

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A student has the responsibility to learn, obtain, take notes, study, review the material/knowledge that the teacher has taught. Why? So that they can learn different skills they can later utilize in the workplace. Skills such as working in groups, note-taking, presenting, writing, typing, listening, and obtaining new knowledge of different subject matter (while also being able to review prior material learned). The way the school measures whether the student “has learned” is by providing formative assessments (homework, asking and answering questions in class, poster board, presentations, etc…) and summative assessments (unit test, chapter test, benchmarks, end of course or end of grade exams).

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A parent/guardian has the responsibility to ensure they are aware of what “The Teacher” is teaching and if their child appears to be learning the information or not. The sooner “learning or failing” is identified, the quicker the child’s lack of progress can be addressed. Don’t be like this parent:

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It is also the parent/guardian’s responsibility to ensure the child is going to bed on time, and yes this applies to high school children as well because their is a direct link between academic performance and adequate sleep. Let’s be honest, this applies to adults as well.

The way to assess if your child needs to go to bed earlier is by asking the teacher if he or she sleeps in class. (Yes, it is ok for the parent to reach out to the teacher about their child, as a matter of fact, the teachers prefer it because when I was in the classroom, their were times when I had a total of 90 students to contend with, even though they were broken up into three classes.)

So, if the parent inquires if their child is sleeping in class and the answer is yes, then the child needs to go to sleep earlier and a bed time should be established for their own good.

It would also help your child if consistent disciplinary actions are utilized in the home. This is VERY important. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard students snicker and shrug their shoulders after they were told by a school official, “We are going to call your parents.”

If there is trouble establishing consistent consequences for negative behavior, all sorts of resources are available! Do not be ashamed to ask or look for them. I have access to some and would love to share. Just email me on my contact page or leave a comment below and maybe everyone can share what they do in their home that works.

In my dissertation, The Value of Career and Technical Education in Addressing College and Career Readiness and the Ill-Prepared Workforce: A Study of the Perceptions of Community College Administrators and Instructors; District High School Administrators, and Guidance Counselors, and CTE Department; and a Workforce Employer in North Carolina, every group named in my title, listed “parents and guardians” as the top influencer in their lives, and career or lack of career decisions made. This surprised me but explains why so many past students have become disengaged adults today. Parents, this proves just how much You and Your Presence, matters the most in your child’s life. And if you are not present, your child may experience some of the same behaviors that other abusive-type behaviors produce.

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Students will usually reflect what have been projected on them. Think of a flower, if it is neglected and left to itself, it withers and eventually dies. If a child is neglected, which could included but is not limited too: lack of consistent discipline, rewarding negative behavior, leaving them alone for extended periods of time, not caring who they communicate with online or in person, allowing them over to homes in which you do not really know they parents lifestyle, not caring if they are failing, or not showing intentional “interest” in every aspect of their lives. They will produce an unruly OR uninterested student at school because no one from home will be making sure they are doing what they are supposed to do. This type of student will either be consistently disruptive or become invisible in their classrooms, never reaching their fullest potential. They will end up either dropping out, failing, repeating courses, hanging out with others like them and/or doing some type of virtual school/course in which they just complete a checklist of modules and are PASSED along without learning much, if anything at all. They could end up like the student below:

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I know this is not what any parent would want for their child, and believe it or not, school personnel do not want to see it either but sometimes it just happens because the school can only do so much without the consistent support of the parent/guardian. So rise up parents, and take your rightful place as the super hero in your child’s life! FYI, Middle and High School students NEED you the most, so please do not slack off once your child reaches these grade levels. I cannot tell you how many high school and middle school students I have counseled from making life-altering decisions, even though some of them still chose to do the opposite because no one at home was monitoring them.

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So parents I commend and support you, and am here if you need any resources whether it is for yourselves, a family member, friend or your students.

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I recently spoke with a women who works in the North Carolina Attorney General’s office and she showed me all of the sneaky APPs available for any child with a smartphone and how deceptive they are. It was super scary. So the first thing I would do is educate yourselves on those, and consider giving your child a phone that does not allow these types of access to strangers. I will share a few TRUE/REAL life human trafficking stories on another blog if you need further convincing on why your teens and younger students should not have access to these APPs. Boys are not exempt either, they to have been victims. If you need me to send you more details about these APPs, email me.

Take an active role in your child’s life because even when they display an attitude, deep down they truly want your involvement and will develop resentment towards you when they don’t receive it.

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Lastly, do not reward bad behavior EVER, period. This sets many students up to be lawless in school because they think they can do whatever they want without any consequences. This will usually lead to a life of imprisonment and self destruction. So never reward evil or bad behavior, with good. It just is not sustainable.

In conclusion:

  1. Teachers, do not give up, the world needs you! If you are not getting the support you need, try transferring to another school or school district. They all can’t be bad. It would be worth it to be able to make a difference in a students’ life.
  2. Students, enjoy being a kid as long as you can and do not try to grow up so quickly. Watch out for bad influences! This could include but is not limited to: people, movies, music, books and games. You will reflect what and who you listen to.
  3. Parents, I hope this has been helpful, you truly have more influence and power than you realize, so make sure you are using your power for good.

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Have a peep of My Schoolspiration Book!                                                                                        It is FREE on Kindle and only $2.99 on other tablets:
https://www.amazon.com/SchoolSpiration-Sprinkle-Wellness-Creating-Inspire-ebook/dp/B076DHB5HB

good food, MSG, Mission Barbecue

Mission Barbecue: What in the Sam Hill is in their Dangerously Delicious Collard Greens?!

Have you ever had an item off of a menu that smelled and tasted so good that it left you wondering what was in it afterwards? Well, that has been my experience at a restaurant named Mission Barbecue.

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Mission Barbecue now has me on a “mission” to find and share what makes their Collard Greens taste so good. Would you believe I have ever looked them up before, this is positively shocking because all who know me, knows that I wear the title:

“The Duchess of Research”

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So join me, as I go on a mission to search out some of the menu items. I am almost afraid to look.

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But not THAT afraid, so continue reading.

Disclaimer: I will only look up some basic menu items, not necessarily items I eat, but items my family and friends have sworn by. If you do not have time to read the content below, I will save you save time upfront.

After viewing their nutritional facts, I can safely conclude their menu items are full of calories, fat, and sodium. This may be partly the reason behind everything tasting so good. After reading their their nutritional website, my countenance have fallen, I may have to lay off of their collard greens indefinitely.

Exhibit A – Collard Greens (FOUND THE CULPRIT! MSG) Their ribs, meat loaf and mac & cheese contain MSG as well.

Calories per serving: 189

Cholesterol: 6

Sodium: 980

Fat: 3

Saturated Fat (This stuff clogs the arteries): 2

Protein: 3

*Keep in mind men only need 56 grams per day and women 46 grams per day*

Fiber: 0

Sugar: 2

*They admit their MSG usage here: https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:dGazi3a-fQAJ:https://mission-bbq.com/allergy+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us&client=safari

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Exhibit B – Green Beans & Bacon (Whhhhy the bacooooon?)

Calories per serving: 170

Cholesterol: 19

Sodium: 1016

Fat: 7

Saturated Fat (This stuff clogs the arteries): 2

Protein: 8

*Keep in mind men only need 56 grams per day and women 46 grams per day*

Fiber: 

Sugar: 4

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Exhibit C – Cornbread 

Calories per serving: 205

Cholesterol: 49

Sodium: 228

Fat: 9

Saturated Fat (This stuff clogs the arteries): 5

Protein: 4

*Keep in mind men only need 56 grams per day and women 46 grams per day*

Fiber: .82

Sugar: 11

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Exhibit D – Mac & Cheese (FOUND THE CULPRIT of the Great Taste! MSG

Calories per serving: 304

Cholesterol: 50

Sodium: 998

Fat: 20

Saturated fat (This stuff clogs the arteries): 11

Protein: 15

*Keep in mind men only need 56 grams per day and women 46 grams per day*

Fiber: 1

Sugar: 4

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Exhibit E – Brisket (Lean portion)

Calories per serving: 480

Cholesterol: 203

Sodium: 1173

Fat: 18

Saturated Fat (This stuff clogs arteries): 7

Protein: 73

*Keep in mind men only need 56 grams per day and women 46 grams per day*

Fiber: .74

Sugar: .06

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Exhibit F – Brisket (Moist portion)

Calories per serving: 595

Cholesterol: 156

Sodium: 1213

Fat: 46

Saturated Fat (This stuff clogs the arteries): 19

Protein: 39

*Keep in mind men only need 56 grams per day and women 46 grams per day*

Fiber: .74

Sugar: .06

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Exhibit GPulled Chicken

Calories per serving: 443

Cholesterol: 295

Sodium: 1290

Fat: 24

Saturated Fat (This stuff clogs the arteries): 6

Protein: 51

*Keep in mind men only need 56 grams per day and women 46 grams per day*

Fiber: .77

Sugar: .2

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*Exhibit H – Yard Bird (Worst OFFENDER)

Calories per serving: 1158

Cholesterol: 369

Sodium: 2415

Fat: 70

Saturated Fat (This stuff clogs the arteries): 19

Protein: 116

*Keep in mind men only need 56 grams per day and women 46 grams per day*

Fiber: 1

Sugar: 5

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Exhibit I – Smoked Salmon

Calories per serving: 373

Cholesterol: 140

Sodium: 310

Fat: 20

Saturated Fat (This stuff clogs the arteries): 6

Protein: 45

*Keep in mind men only need 56 grams per day and women 46 grams per day*

Fiber: 0

Sugar: 0

If you want to learn more about their menu items, go to this link: https://mission-bbq.com/sites/default/files/Mission_NutritionInfo_v19_0.pdf

So the moral of the story is below:

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career planning, career choices

Career Destination: How did you know?

Happy Friday Everyone!

Today I wanted to talk about careers because one of my former high school students accepted a teaching position two weeks ago and before he did, he asked me how did I know I wanted to be a teacher. Instead of answering the question straight away, I gave him a story instead.

*So sit back and relax kiddies, it’s story time*

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My summer before entering undergrad was filled with private cheer and tumbling classes in order to prepare for my first college cheer camp and practices, which were intense. It was safe to say, declaring a major was NOT in the forefront of my mind. Honestly, if you’d asked me what I wanted to be at that time, I would have said either a Dance Studio Owner or an Archeologist, yet I attended an Undergraduate Institution noted for their PGM Golf Program. (The following photo is actually me, I guess my college rubbed off on me a little, lol.)

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So when I met with my freshman Advisor and told her I wanted to be an Archeologist, she sweetly informed me that there were no such majors at the college, but could try “Geology” instead. After taking my first class on rocks, I considered changing to Education. Only one other girl on my cheer team was an Education Major and she was always teased that teachers did not make any money. (Newsflash: she was from Jersey, where teachers made a lot of money because they had a Union) either way, peer pressure got to me and I decided to switch my major to Psychology instead.

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As I sat in Dr. Campbell’s psych class, and listened to him drone on and on about the history of Psychology, I decided to schedule another meeting with my Advisor. The poor woman was always so kind but I bet she was getting tired of me. I told her that I wanted to be a Psychologist, but the class was not interesting to me. She nicely informed me that I would need at least a master’s degree in order to practice Psychology, so if the classes where not interesting, I may want to consider changing my major to something else.   One of my friends told me maybe I should consider Business Administration. (Are you all noticing how “my friends” were guiding my career decisions? eye roll) So I decided to switch to Business Administration, but I had to declare a minor, in which I decided on Health Care Administration. I was then placed with the Health Care Advisor and I clicked with him instantly. He told me how I had the option to Teach business at the middle and high school level if I should decide to get a teaching certificate, and could also work in hospitals and clinics. I did not get the teaching certificate but performed exceptionally well in Business and Health Care courses. Once I reached my senior year, completed my internships; one at hospital and another at a private imaging clinic, I felt this sinking feeling I had made a mistake.

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I digress by saying throughout undergrad, I always kept a part-time position even though I was a full-time student and on the cheer and dance team. I mostly worked with children in After School Programs/Childcare Centers. I even worked at Circuit City (rip…) during my last semester in school. When it was nearly time for me to graduate, and I had my first job offer in my major, a nagging question entered my mind, “How on earth did the Childcare Center and Circuit City pay more than what was offered to me by the Private Health Care Imaging Company?”

I was extremely insulted that I had spent four years plus an arm and a leg in school, only to be offered a part-time position, working from 7pm to 11pm, making less than I was already making!

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I didn’t even ENJOY working at the Private Health Care Imaging Company. Please don’t misunderstand me, I am not trying to sound like an entitled spoiled brat; I am making a point that I was sold a bill of goods in college, that choosing a certain major will PAY WELL instead of choosing what you truly wanted to do. Because I chose something I thought “paid well”, I ended up spending the following two years after undergrad in a MBA Program, working in group homes and childcare facilities. It was during the time I was working in a Childcare Center that my former cheerleading coach from high school saw me (her son was attending there). She told me the high school I graduated from was in dire need of a Business Teacher. She mentioned that four Teachers had quit during the first semester and they needed someone to start January. I was a little frighten to hear this, but she told me she thought I could do it. So she set up an interview with the Principal (who ironically happened to be her former high school cheer coach) and I was offered the position.

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Let me tell you, (as I sip my tea) the salary was way more than what any of the health care facilities were posting at that time, and was more than what I was making and on top of that; I would have the holidays off. This was huge because in childcare, there were hardly any days off. I was ecstatic!

I started teaching high school and coaching cheerleading and I must say, it felt really organic. I have always loved working with young people (in church, group homes, babysitting, and in childcare), so I had finally found my niche!

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Do you know, if I had stuck to majoring in Education during undergrad, I would have found a position right after graduation. This means I would have been able to start paying my students loans and establishing myself. Because I did not do this, and was not able to find a steady job after graduation, I had to put my loans in deferment and for those of you who do not know, your loans capitalize during this time period. What this means is that because I did not have a steady position, my interest doubled and is the same as my principal and I am paying way more money now, in order to pay it off quicker.

ADViCE: do not listen to your peers, or to other people about certain positions not bringing in any money, it simply is not true. What sense did it make for me to be jobless and have to work odd jobs making less, all because I chose a major in which I thought would bring me more money, when in reality I would have been better off in the long run with the major presumed to bring in less? If I had majored in Education, I would have found a teaching position right out of college which is the norm compared to majors “rumored” to be more lucrative.

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In these cases, student loan companies do not care whether you find a position or not. They will defer your loan but at your expense. I will talk more about student loans in the future because I have experience in that area and would like to help others avoid the mistakes I have made. If you have questions about loans, feel free to comment or email me. I can be reached on the contact link.

In Conclusion – After getting my second Masters in School Administration and Ed.D. at Gardner-Webb University, located in the beautiful mountains of North Carolina; I was blessed with professors who retired as Instructional Leaders, Principals, Assistant Superintendents and Superintendents. They taught us that there is money in Education, but it was not about chasing money, it was about doing what you loved. Because when you chase money, it will run from you, but when you do what you love, money will follow.

Now back to what I was originally talking about, my former student asked me how did I know which career I wanted to do, and it seem that knew all along I wanted to work with children, especially based on my interest throughout time, unfortunately I took the “Career Scenic Route” to get to my Career Destination.

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How did you know which career you wanted to do? Feel free to leave a comment, I am sure we could all learn from one another.

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